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I was fortunate to meet Roxane, who called on my services to learn how to do her makeup in order to feel more feminine. I asked her to tell us her story. Here it is!
My name is Roxane, although I am a 64-year-old man born in a small provincial town.
I studied in Paris and still live in the Paris region.
I have been married for nearly 40 years and have 2 children, a 33-year-old daughter and a 28-year-old son.
I am lucky to be a grandfather (mother?) to an adorable little girl.
I still work in a company I created with former colleagues in the field of IT and telecoms, and I am fortunate to be able to thrive in my work.
I felt this need very young and, of course, very confused.
I remember, for example, a party when I was about 6 or 7 years old where a boy was dressed as a girl to play a role.
I was very jealous not to have been chosen, and I still remember it! Then, in adolescence, I loved taking my sister’s panties, skirts, and blouses and walking around the house and garden whenever I thought I was alone.
Later, as a young married man, whenever the occasion arose, I borrowed my wife’s clothes and would go for walks in Paris at night, afraid of being discovered and at the same time so happy to wear those clothes.
I always looked at women as role models I wanted to resemble.
Life went on, with family responsibilities as well, while living with these urges which I mostly buried and which sometimes came back.
It’s a permanent desire that I had to learn to hide.
When I was young, there was no way to get information to understand what I was feeling. I felt alone with these desires, which I thought were bad, especially since I lived in an environment where the Catholic religion held an important place.
It was much later that I understood I was not the only one feeling the need to cross-dress, or even to wish to be a woman, and that this didn’t make me a bad person.
It may sound absurd in 2019, I know!
The internet made articles and discussions about crossdressers, transgender people more accessible, and helped me understand what I was feeling.
I have recently allowed myself to live more in harmony with what I feel, and I think with age it’s high time to enjoy it!
I could say simply, I feel good as a woman!
To be more precise, I am more serene, I feel like I am fully enjoying life, being more in harmony with people. I suppose it’s because I feel better myself.
As I said before, I started cross-dressing young, followed by long periods without doing it, then moments when I started again when the need became too strong.
More recently, when I was alone with my mother in my hometown, I had the opportunity to dress in a very ambiguous way with women’s pants, bra, women’s shoes...
I felt so good, especially since people were very kind, or indifferent, maybe that suited me just fine.
However, I felt something was missing, that I hadn’t gone all the way, that I wasn’t really a woman but a very effeminate man.
I have no apprehensions about society; I don’t seek to make it known, but I would own it without any problem.
However, it is true that I would dread having to share what is ultimately my secret garden with my family.
I am quite confident my daughter would accept it without issue; I’m less sure about my wife and my son.
I don’t think I will go beyond makeup, dressing, and behaving as femininely as possible.
I’d like to go out with friends in Paris, go to restaurants, live as a woman at least from time to time.
Makeup is an essential element for me to feel more feminine.
The first time I went to see Jennifer, I had no idea what result to expect.
Seeing the transformation and the result appear little by little was a very emotional moment.
Thanks to Jennifer for what she achieved and for her encouraging words that made me feel confident.
It was a decisive moment.
Now I want to learn to do my own makeup so I can go out more easily when I want in Paris to spend as much time as possible as a woman in the city, with friends.
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