Hello everyone,

In life I am X, but deep down I am Léna, a name I gave myself two years ago after 61 years as X.
Yes, two years ago I discovered Jennifer’s Transbeauté site, after many hesitations, “I’m not going,” “I’m not going,” fear of the unknown, of who I am, of ridicule, of everything really, and of nothing too.
I finally decide to send a text message, “would you please feminize me?” The answer: “yes.”
My heart starts racing at 200 beats per minute, just after Jennifer asks me, “What’s your name?” and in less than a split second, “Léna” — that’s how the woman inside me was born.
Of course, like many during my childhood, I tried on my mother’s clothes and bought lingerie.
But it was always repressed until September 4, 2020, when Léna physically took shape with Jennifer’s help and my strong desire to be, yes TO BE because getting makeup done, getting dressed, photographed is nice, but being, that’s better.

Then we made an appointment, but between booking it and the day, you go through all sorts of emotions—from excitement to finally BE, to feelings of fear also of being caught by family or friends, when you live hidden like me.
Yes, being discovered, and everything you built in 60 years can crumble.
Because in fact, you never really know how people around you will react; you have an idea, but you want it to go well, to be accepted—and the probability is low, especially when you analyze the profile of those very attached to religious traditions, family upbringing, and when you hear them talk about crossdressers or transgender people, it chills you.
Anyway, I’ve talked about this several times with Jennifer and we’ll have the chance to go back to it in detail.

Anyway, it’s September 4, 6 a.m., I take the car for a 2.5-hour drive, and let me tell you, the driving was probably far from textbook because my mind was elsewhere, wondering how it would go, Léna in front of a stranger for the first time, and who really is this stranger?
I wait downstairs from her apartment, get a text message: “You can come up.”
Arriving at her front door, a young woman with a wide smile and sparkling eyes welcomes me and asks me to explain what I want; at that moment, I can’t speak in an orderly and clear way (for the first time I put myself bare), her kindness and the act of dressing you help you get through this step, then we go to the first outfit and makeup.
What a moment of relaxation!
Then the wig… and here’s the question: how did you manage to do this from someone 1.85m tall and 100kg?

The morning goes on with several outfits and wigs to find your style, and they offer to go outside—you refuse, you don’t dare, you’re scared…
Then comes the end of the session; on the way back, you regret not having gone out.

In the following days, everything churns in your head, you no longer know who you are and who you want to be, you try to figure it out, you leave many messages to try to understand (Thank you Jennifer for always replying);
You want so much to live those moments again.

So you make another appointment and think you want to go further—to live a girl’s life for a few hours, you opt for a shopping session (with little and advice, you build your first wardrobe).

What a great time that first shopping trip was, wandering through the aisles, searching, trying on, and buying!
What a pleasure to be in this feminine environment, what a joy coming home wearing your own clothes.

Then we went from appointment to appointment, eating out, nature outings, always together, with a deep desire to go out alone to test myself and see other people’s reactions, their gaze, to step out of my comfort zone—this after four months of appointments with Jennifer.

Then suddenly everything stops, a major health problem, close to death, five months immobilized, you think, you reflect, and you say to yourself you’re going to live feminization even more and with determination.

First step, you lose 20 kg for two reasons: your health and to become slimmer and more feminine; you take the opportunity to shape your eyebrows and more.
Second step, you make another appointment, Jennifer can’t believe it, you are so slim, light, etc.
All the dresses, pants, blouses look different, you take another step in femininity and transformation, photos become more and more pleasing to look at, and all this motivates you more and more.
We multiply outings, restaurants like La Coupole for example, department stores (Galerie Lafayette, Printemps), you try on items, talk with saleswomen alone without Jennifer, stroll in parks, bar terraces, you meet Tara and Emma from Oh Quai Latin, you go to a drag show, to the cinema, you try to live as a woman, you also eat with other transgender people…
The classier your body and outfit are, the easier it is to fit in daily life.

Earlier in my story, I said that BEING was the most important, and my dream is to be able to pursue a professional activity as a woman, having poor eyesight I had women’s corrective glasses made, I will have my teeth redone, but it won’t go further: at 63 I won’t go into body transformation surgery which must involve terrible suffering, confirmed by Jennifer and in our many conversations, the conclusion is: preserve your two lives and enrich yourself with these last two.

Yes, I come back to BEING, it’s to live my feminine side also without having appointments with Jennifer.
Recently, I bought a makeup set with my best companion and friend.
At this appointment, I had asked her to prepare me for the evening to make my first solo outing, the goal being to make this outing at Oh Quai Latin in a safe environment where everyone is accepted as they are.
As I said above, the goal is still to face life as it is. I went to Champs Élysées, to visit some shops and find a table for dinner; after being refused at two famous Parisian brasseries, a third opened its doors and offered me a table next to a lady alone as well; after a few looks and smiles, she started the conversation and those first words were difficult to come by too; but her open mind quickly relaxed me and so on, we spent the evening together, parting ways around midnight and exchanging our 06 numbers.

All this to say: “Go for it, only good can happen to you, and don’t let opportunities pass you by!

Today I’m looking for a professional activity that I could do as a woman, say one day a week, I know how to develop businesses, I know how to organize, etc… this is my profession.
In short, this work would complement a life already full emotionally and socially, and would be an achievement for me.

To all, I hope this reading wasn’t too boring but gave you much confidence.