Clémence: the desire to feel woman

Today, it’s Clémence who reached out to me for a feminization session, with beautiful makeup as well as the photography part.

I always emphasize the importance of having professional photos taken.
This step is essential to gaining self-confidence; it allows us to look at ourselves and start sketching who we really are.

I invite you to discover Clémence’s experience at Transbeauté.

Can you introduce yourself?

My name is Clémence, well, that’s the name I’ve given myself for a few years now, but to everyone else, I’m known as X. I’m 35 years old, married to a woman, I have a child, and I live in the Paris suburbs. Like many, my feminine identity is hidden, locked away. Nothing in my daily life could hint to my loved ones, colleagues, or friends that behind the average thirty-something with a stable job and an orderly life is a person whose greatest desire is to feel like a woman.

How long have you wanted to feel more womanly?

It’s a desire I’ve felt since adolescence, and I’ve often tried to find its origin without success. Like many, I started by trying on my mother’s underwear. Gradually, I added pieces until I bought my first clothes a few years ago. I have always been fascinated by femininity and by trying to feel what a woman can feel.

Is this desire occasional, permanent?

It’s a desire I live with constantly but only indulge in rarely. My “official” life gives me few opportunities to be alone at home. Nevertheless, even when I’m not Clémence, I can’t help but look at the outfits of the women around me to spot what I could buy later.

Even if I don’t live out my desires openly, I try to slip some feminine elements into my everyday life. I sometimes wear underwear, sometimes very sexy, under my clothes. I go shopping for clothes and lingerie during my breaks, and I return to work with my arms full of packages containing my treasures.

However, these euphoric phases sometimes give way to phases of rejection in which I regret. Then I feel ashamed of what I’m doing and get rid of my women’s belongings. I think I must be on version 4 of my wardrobe…

Why this desire, and what does it give you?

It’s hard to explain, but I believe what I like most is feeling beautiful, sexy, and desirable when looking at myself in the mirror and, even better, in someone else’s eyes.

There’s surely a bit of excitement linked to the forbidden, the feeling of doing something taboo. And of course, as I mentioned earlier, putting myself in a woman’s skin and feeling what she feels really motivates me.

When did you decide to take action, like crossdressing for the first time? For what occasion? What did you feel?

I don’t remember the first time I crossdressed when I was young. However, I have a very strong memory of the first time I showed myself as a woman to someone. I must have been about fifteen, and I revealed myself via webcam. Having only my mother’s clothes, the result probably wasn’t great! In any case, the person watching me was very kind and encouraged me to continue.

Do you have fears about society, your family, apprehensions, or discomfort?

Yes, a lot. I am extremely afraid of the consequences a revelation would have on my family and professional life. Only one of my exes knows, and I’m very happy to be able to confide in her, even if, unfortunately, she doesn’t share my enthusiasm. She listens without judging me, and that’s already very good. My block is so strong that when I had therapy a while ago after depression, I spoke about very personal issues with my therapist but did not bring up this side of my personality. One of my greatest wishes would be to talk about it with my wife. Unfortunately, I’m too afraid of her reaction and of losing her. I don’t think I will ever be able to talk about it with my wife or loved ones. Crossdressing will therefore remain a secret part of my identity.

What are the next steps in your feminization (if any), or desires you haven’t tried yet but would like?

I would like to improve my makeup techniques, expand my wardrobe a bit, and also do a small diet to make this unsightly and so masculine belly disappear. My ultimate desire would be to transition with possible surgery. Unfortunately, I think that will remain a fantasy.

Why did you call on me, and what have I brought you in this stage of your life?

I had done searches to find a makeover/makeup service a few years ago but hadn’t found the right fit. The desire passed... Then, I searched again a few days ago and came across Jennifer’s website.

After just reading a few testimonials, I sent a text and waited anxiously for a response. The appointment was scheduled very quickly, and for those few days, it was the only thing I could think about. On the day, I was extremely nervous arriving at her place, but she quickly put me at ease. I was dazzled by the makeup she offered me. The result far exceeded what I could have imagined. What a sadness to have to remove it to leave.

Final words from Jennifer

Thank you, Clémence!

Like Clémence, many of you suffer from having to hide this part of your personality, which gradually takes up more and more space. It’s a relief to have even just one person to talk to about it without being judged, criticized, or anything else. A benevolent listening with, as a bonus, little tips that could change everything, who knows?

It is at that very moment that I step in with makeup and beauty advice to support you best… and don’t forget to book the photo session!