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Taking the step to come for a feminization session is not always easy; we have many questions and are never very calm, until we finally take the plunge…
Here is Sabine’s experience, which captures the essence of the emotions I often hear after my sessions, so this should reassure you!
First of all, before answering, very willingly, the questionnaire that will follow, I must admit that I experienced a unique moment, one that will remain unforgettable.
Indeed, for the first time in my life, I showed myself dressed entirely as a woman, and moreover, in front of someone I had not known just a few hours before.
The most incredible thing is that I did it as naturally as can be. Yet, naturally very shy and extremely modest, from the moment I decided to make an appointment with Jennifer until the moment I arrived at her place, I did not have even the slightest hint of real apprehension (not for lack of watching out for it), quite the opposite—I was looking forward to it!
When Jennifer greets me, quite quickly, we get straight to the point, no time to say “phew,” I show her my outfits… and I find myself in tights, knee-high socks, heels, and a dress just as quickly!
I can hardly believe it myself. I even walk simply in front of her large mirror before she comes back; I feel incredibly good and comfortable, the sound of my heels on the tiles fills me with a kind of joy and pride, even!!
I can’t wait to start the makeup lesson.
Until this moment, never, absolutely never, could I have imagined wanting to learn how to do my makeup.
Now, dizziness begins to set in... will I be up to it? Will I succeed?
Yet I teach in a highly specialized and very technical field where lives are at stake at every session, so who knows!
Jennifer is super pedagogical, for her it’s clear and simple.
Jennifer shows me simple gestures, practiced by millions of girls every day, relentlessly (respect!).
Sitting in front of the mirror, I’ve already forgotten half the elements: “What was that trick again?” “Uh, which brush and for what?” Or “Wait, I’ll poke my eye out if I press the eyeliner like that!” “And do you dab it like this or like that?” I try to stay focused but a part of me has long been in emotion, floating somewhere between well-being and inner questioning: “Seriously? Where does this sudden desire for makeup come from, and do you like it?”, all while guiding my hand trying to locate the edge of my lips to apply a line without looking like the “Joker” from Batman.
Another step is crossed with the “hair” try-on (I hate the other word…). Jennifer is full of resources there too. I look at myself more and more often in the mirror; a woman appears from time to time, I think I catch her and she disappears just as quickly. I will now never stop finding her, especially with the photo shoot approaching.
For the photo shoot, I really want to let go, but here, I get “stuck”—my mind fights with a body that refuses to respond; inside, I desperately want to “express myself” but the body will refuse or very reluctantly accept to pose the way I want. It’s true—it’s the first time. Once again, as the professional she is, Jennifer encourages me; indeed, if she didn’t ask me to smile 42 times (and she smiles constantly, her smile is incredible).
From time to time she shows me the photos taken... Then I respond with a well-known “Ah yes, I like it, there’s something there,” I say to her!
On other photos, I look downright fat, double chin (“Well, at least you’re on a diet,” I tell myself, etc., etc... I become critical when I see myself, yet I feel really good). Jennifer, super respectful, deletes those photos.
We review the makeup elements, and I fall for a makeup bag with everything that goes with it! “No, seriously, I can’t understand where this comes from, yet it still feels so natural.
It’s now time to return “to reality,” and yet I would have loved to stay “like this” in what also seems to be “me,” but the “makeup removal” is not called that for nothing. Indeed, putting on makeup and putting back on male clothes gave me a vague brief feeling of crossdressing. It’s time now to part ways. While I found the rain magnificent and the sound it made as it poured onto Jennifer’s roof and Velux windows during the session, that same rain became a symbol of grayness and cold as we said goodbye in front of our cars.
Thank you, Jennifer.
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