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My name is Vanessa, I just turned 58 and I live in the Paris region.
I have been in a relationship with a lady for 5 years, but we see each other, let’s say, irregularly.
Of modest background, I spent a large part of my career in industry and I am still working.
It’s an occasional desire: participating in a transgender party, for example, but the urge to feel like a woman and transform myself at home comes from time to time, of course.
You can quickly get caught up in this beautiful whirlwind, and I don’t want that because I’m afraid of losing touch with the reality of who I am at the core; small touches are enough for now!!! I am not unhappy, I say this, but this desire, this state is becoming more and more present “I feel it.”
This desire gives me great joy, I am on stage, we feel this power of seduction within ourselves and we are sometimes adored, but warm bonds also emerge between all of us, we’re even a bit like a family in a way, and then we know!
The revelation happened 4 years ago now, quite late compared to many other friends.
It was nothing much, I could have missed that happiness “a dawning revelation,” my withdrawal after 3-4 months, my weakness, their blackmail, my inability to break away, my retreat into myself, my depression, this blockage for a man, a documentary one evening about transgender people, an idea launched by a stranger about me.
The dice were cast, I started my research on the internet.
Someone guided me superbly well through this first change in appearance, I owe them a lot! Then the first transgender party.
And everything fell into place.
You have to stay on guard.
Not everyone looks favorably upon feminizing, no hard feelings, society isn’t ready to understand us.
Others see it as a sort of illness, yet I don’t feel the slightest shame.
For people of another generation, I specifically mean the rare family I have left – no need to let them in on it.
Yes, of course, I feel some scruples towards the person I meet, they don’t know what has happened inside me. “Everything is back to normal, I have found my balance, I appreciate it!”
I don’t think there will be other feminization steps beyond makeup.
It’s up to me to work on my gestures, my postures, and to put softness in my voice.
Of course, laser hair removal, facial surgery, hormone therapy, or prosthetics would feminize me further, I know that.
But on the other hand, isn’t the charm delightful = this feminine mixed with masculine? I think I prefer to remain this person who plays on this ambivalence in a way!!
I called on Jennifer to learn how to harmonize the contours of my face, and it’s very successful, I am fully satisfied with the result.
Your expertise, your teaching style and ability to put one at ease, as well as your kindness towards us, I appreciated all of this.
Thank you!
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