This is once again a very powerful testimony that I welcome on the Transbeauté blog. Julia’s testimony about her transgender identity, the questions, the fears but also the joys, and the strength it gives her.

My role: to help you blossom, to be who you want to be, thanks to makeup. To start off right, I have my brushes (magical, apparently!) and I also have my camera!

I emphasize, and I repeat (constantly) that the photo shoot is an essential moment of our sessions. I see it at every appointment. Everyone who hesitates or thinks otherwise… until they experience it and change their minds.

This experience is unforgettable.

And then, there is the one for whom writing on the blog, for example, helps to take stock. Exactly, Julia... tell us...

Going out as a woman, managing dysphoria afterwards

Since the beginning of my adolescence, I have been attracted to the feminine side of strength. I have lost count of the times I have tried on female clothes, lingerie, makeup stolen from my mother then my girlfriends then my wife, with periods of euphoria followed by great guilt.

For several years, I have had my own wardrobe, androgynous but 100% feminine. I go out as a woman after work because I am lucky to work and live alone in Paris during the week. I do manicure sessions (a real pleasure), I buy female clothes, lingerie but I also have real dysphoria about my face, my hair, my body hair and unfortunately I do not pass very well. That does not stop me today from going out as a woman with a wig and some makeup, in the anonymity of the big city (small victory, thanks Paris).

I did not imagine going beyond occasional cross-dressing

That’s the big question. In any case, it makes me feel good and it brings me pleasure. I think that under my male appearance, I have a rather developed feminine side and because it is hidden most of the time, I need to express it fully at times. I admire women, their beauty, their clothes, their more reasoned way of approaching the world. When I am a woman, I think I am a better person, more smiling, more empathetic.

At first, I cross-dressed to please my mother. Then I continued out of desire, because I enjoyed it and it brought me well-being but I did not imagine going beyond occasional cross-dressing.

For several years now, it is different. I am developing my feminine wardrobe without throwing anything away anymore, I am crazy about lingerie and have a beautiful collection. More recently, I became a client of manicure/pedicure salons and I started makeup. I bought a wig. I go out as a woman in the streets of Paris. I feel like things are accelerating. The sensations I experience when I am a woman are intense, incredible. I feel calm, relaxed and I feel it’s right, I believe I am happy, that’s all. I want to be a woman like the others and I am thinking about more permanent changes. Being a woman right down to the breasts, as the song said…

Going further? Permanent hair removal? Hormonal treatment?

Today I am thinking of going further in my process to live my life as a woman. What does going further mean? Hormonal treatment? Permanent hair removal? Do nothing, just try to improve my passing? Permanent hair removal and a feminizing hormonal treatment (the transformation of my body, a new puberty…) are certainly options I am considering. But I would at least have to talk about it with my wife and I’m afraid of her reaction.

The desire to have breasts has been very strong in me for several years because they symbolize femininity, because a breast is the most beautiful thing on earth. For now, I just bought myself beautiful Anita breast prostheses with two lovely lace bras: the fitting, the kindness of the saleswoman, a great moment of happiness.

You opened my eyes and showed me my feminine potential

To improve my passing, I was looking for makeup lessons. There are lots of tutorials online but I wanted to learn quickly, without making too many mistakes on tones, complexions, and colors. I didn’t want to look “travelo.” A class with a professional makeup artist seemed well suited and searching online, I came across the Transbeauté website. I was really impressed by all the positive testimonials and these beautiful photos of women that made me think, maybe, it could also be possible for me to be a credible woman.

You opened my eyes and showed me my feminine potential.

At first I enjoyed the class, your advice and I think I did well, except maybe the eyes. It is really hard to do eye makeup. New lessons will probably be necessary for me to master this aspect of makeup.

On the right track thanks to you

I felt great euphoria and well-being. I was very proud to have done it and I liked the person I saw.

I took the train back to Paris, dressed as a woman and made up. I noticed many looks from women, half amused, half surprised. I think most were not fooled. My passing still needs improvement but I believe I am on the right track thanks to you.

Or if I want to be more positive, wasn’t it because women look/watch other women? Few looks from men but in fact I think that fearing their looks, I was not looking at them.

Final words from Jennifer

“Thank you Julia!” We will see Julia again. She will share with us a shopping experience on buying breast prostheses when you are transgender. There will also be other photos, from our second meeting. You will notice Julia's magnificent progress.

Feel free to ask your questions, encourage her, I will pass them on to Julia.