Julia: coming out as transgender at work

Julia at her first visit in August 2020

What a joy to meet you for the first time but also what a joy to ..see you again! .

There are those who decide to relive their feminization for an outing, a night, or just for themselves.

And then there are the girls who choose to explore their femininity more deeply by starting a gender transition journey.

Whatever your expectations, I am by your side. I do the right make-up for you, we deepen makeup techniques, we do a photo shoot (a new photo album!). We explore different styles, we go out shopping, to restaurants, to the movies together.

But above all, we talk, share, laugh, and experience strong emotional moments, too..

In any case, every time, we have a wonderful moment!.

Julia came back to see me 2 years after her first visit, and her life has greatly evolved!

Julia in 2022

“Going out as a girl for a day, from time to time,” seemed so little and impossible today.

Hello everyone!

After a VERY long absence, here is a little updated testimony 2 years after my first visit with Jennifer.

I’m not quite sure where to start. So let’s begin from scratch and start there.

“Can you introduce yourself? Age, gender, family situation, profession, city.”

Well, that has changed a lot in 2 years!. I am still in the same company but the situation is totally different. I suddenly found myself in a much higher position and much better paid.

Why? How? … It’s a long story but on the other hand, things did change very quickly.

When I reread my testimony from 2 years ago, I said “going out as a girl once in a while,” that seemed so little and impossible today.

That life was unsustainable. Everything exploded in summer 2021 with a pretty severe depression that ended up affecting my professional life and completely prevented me from working.

“I told my supervisor everything in great detail and very quickly”

When you can no longer provide any work, it quickly becomes noticeable and “damned anyway” (that’s what I thought at the time). I told my supervisor everything in great detail, and very quickly (within 2-3 days) to the rest of my close work team.

The reactions were very positive. “It’s obvious, I should have noticed sooner,” or “Oh whew, it’s not that serious, I thought you had cancer and were hiding it from us for months.”

Knowing that at the end of this month, I had to renegotiate my contract (turn my fixed-term contract into a permanent after 3 years), it wasn’t really the ideal time to go on sick leave.

Fortunately for me, my colleagues were fantastic. My team leader arranged to give me as little work as possible. My colleagues took on the little I had to do — in the end a few hours of actual work in the week were enough for me to get through without it being too visible, which saved me from having to take sick leave.

“About ten days later, we had a meeting and I decided not to remove the flashy nail polish I put on the day before.”

Things then evolved very quickly. Indeed, a few days later, I had my well-known interviews. I went there wearing a simple white top, a black blazer, black pants & pretty white sneakers. A bit of complexion perfecter and mascara as well.

Everything changed! I not only got the new job but was also able to renegotiate my salary.

I had NEVER managed to renegotiate my salary since being hired and it was one of the lowest in the company.

At the same time, it’s quite difficult to negotiate anything decent when you struggle to look people in the eye.

My colleagues coached me on that point and told me to ask for nearly double my old salary. That seemed totally impossible, but I gave it a try, and it went through immediately.

The power of clothes? Makeup? Simply feeling good?

My image in the company completely changed, and for the better. No more the image of a “person without emotion.”

Apparently, I have become one of the most social people around and I have good relationships with just about everyone.

All this makes me think back to a scene at work a few months ago when “Ludivine” (names have been changed to keep collaborators anonymous) told Eloise she never wore makeup, and Eloise said she would try it the next day.

In the end, she just shaped her eyebrows and Ludivine said, “pff, no effort, even I put on more, well, I’m not as good as Julia but I do something.”

I realized that day that over the last year, I have apparently gained a reputation as a “SUPER TALENTED MAKEUP ARTIST” in the company.

Again, this shows Jennifer’s talent who is herself “super mega ultra talented” to use the same words.

“Another important step was honesty a few months later”

I travel a lot in Europe with my new job. One of my main work sites is a logistics warehouse in the Netherlands.

Only, you have to wear special clothing to access the warehouse (bright jacket, safety shoes, ...) and the changing rooms are of course gendered.

This situation stressed me out a bit but once again I was very lucky because the girls on my new team had already prepared everything and I already had an assigned locker and everything I needed.

The company even went too far because they changed my name and gender on legal papers, which caused some issues with administration and the bank. I haven’t made any “official” change on that side yet.

“After seeing Jennifer two or three times, it became logical”

At first, I didn’t believe it myself. I must say I had seen several people trying to learn makeup in London, Brussels, and the Netherlands.

However, even if I was making progress, it was always way too “technical” for me. We had to start with simple things.

I especially remember a person in Brussels who told me that “I would never manage” if I couldn’t follow and understand what she tried to explain.

It was really after seeing Jennifer two or three times that it became “logical.”

You simply have to start with the basics. Not aim too high right away. That’s something she knew how to do very well, without ever stressing me out. I will always be grateful to her for that.

“I avoided mirrors and photos, and everything changed!”

Today, I have a life, it’s still a bit under construction and very disorganized. (Jennifer saw all that given how long it took me to FINALLY write this testimony 😀) but it’s a very good start, especially compared to where I was 2 years ago.

Last time I said I avoided mirrors and photos and everything changed. In this area too, it’s even the opposite — I now have a mirror in EVERY room of my apartment. I take far too many selfies.

Over time, I also completely redid my wardrobe. I struggled a bit at first and mainly drew inspiration from styles I saw online and liked. But over time, there was a kind of click. In fact, it works like makeup. I can now quite easily imagine the piece I need to complete an outfit with this and that.

We come back to the beginning of the story. I came back to see Jennifer this summer for a new problem. HAIR.

It’s growing, it’s growing. It’s nice then it starts going everywhere. They no longer want to cooperate at all.

I wanted to learn the basics of hairstyling. So I saw Jennifer again for that. It allowed me to learn the basic techniques and buy what I needed most.

On my side, it’s not perfect yet but I improve it every day, and that’s what matters.

“We come to the last topic: society”

Overall, it’s very positive. I feel that my interactions with most people are much better than before. This translates into a lot more smiles, support, help, kind words, compliments, ...

However, obviously, there is a negative side that no one can deny. I had some bad experiences. A few insults here and there and two somewhat more serious experiences.

Coming back one evening to my car parked in an underground parking lot. 3 men started following me while making comments about me and the dress I was wearing. I finally went into a bar

to wait for them to leave. I didn’t want to enter the underground parking with these people following me.

Another time, during a business trip south of Paris a few weeks ago. I returned to my hotel room (a B&B without staff, cheap) after leaving my colleagues around 11 p.m.

“Problem related to transidentity or a woman’s problem?”

Some men were smoking in front of the next room. They followed me to my door making some rather strange comments.

Later that evening, I had to go get some things from the car. They followed me without saying anything until then.

Fear took over me and I locked myself in the car but since they didn’t leave and just stood there looking weird. I left the hotel by car and joined a colleague who was staying in another hotel. We came back to get my things the next morning and I changed hotel “just in case” for the next few days.

Afterwards, are these problems really due to transidentity or simply the problems women face in society today? It’s quite hard to say.

In any case, I will not go back. I recently bought a swimsuit that fits me pretty well even if I haven’t dared to go to the pool yet.

To be continued, I guess

See you soon and thanks to everyone!

Final word from Jennifer

“Thank you Julia!” . Being by your side during your gender transition journey is something I take very seriously. This is why I created Transbeauté a few years ago, to help you.

And today more than ever, I always take great pleasure in supporting all the girls that you are!