Jade’s very beautiful day as a woman

Can you introduce yourself? age, gender, family situation, profession, city.

I am a 43-year-old man, married for over 10 years now and 18 years of life together with my wife. From our union was born a wonderful daughter who is now 9 years old.

I work in the health field, I won’t say more.

I live in Charente Maritime near La Rochelle.

My female name will be Jade

How long have you wanted to feel more like a woman?

I have really felt the need to feel like a woman for a very, very long time. However, I still love my condition and my life as a man.

It started with lingerie (thongs, tights, leotards, women's swimsuits), very young, I would say around 8 years old.

During my adolescence, I was uncomfortable in my own skin. I lacked self-confidence, I didn’t find myself handsome or attractive. Whenever I wanted to approach a girl, especially a beautiful one, I totally lost my nerve. Quickly, outfits had to be completed with small-heeled shoes at first, then with some learning, high heels (up to 15 cm) symbolizing femininity. Then it was a pair of well-rounded fake buttocks, a false chest and a wig.

And there was the illusion of being a femme fatale, the projection of a dream creature with a perfect and sexy silhouette in every way that I would have loved to have in real life. So, lacking it, I created it for myself.

Is it a temporary desire or a permanent one?

It’s a permanent desire, like an addiction.

It keeps coming back in my mind cyclically.

There is an incredible multitude of choices on the internet in terms of outfits, accessories, and lingerie intended for women. I would think while browsing, “if I ordered this, maybe it would suit me?” So to satisfy my urges, I ordered. I did fittings, admiring myself in the mirror, always secretly at home.

Why this desire, what does it give you?

It gives me so much pleasure and enjoyment. We all aspire on Earth to be happy, to find the path to happiness.

So of course, after compulsive lingerie wearing, comes the masturbatory act. I wanted to throw everything away afterwards out of shame and guilt. Many times, I tried to stop but in vain. The desire once again to feel those delicious sensations on the skin like delicate and voluptuous caresses always took over. I could not suppress my desires and urges.

travestisme-fétichisme

Over time I learned and understood that this travestism-fetishism inclination was an integral part of my pleasure and well-being. Why deprive oneself of pleasure if it harms no one else?

I lost count of the things I threw away. Something I bitterly regretted afterwards. We are now in the recycling era (what a waste!).

I have now realized that you must not throw things away. Unless they are really worn out or torn, although… I should take an example from my daughter. She recently participated in a school presentation whose theme was selective sorting, anti-waste, and recycling (LOL)

When did you decide to take action, that is to crossdress for the first time? On what occasion? What did you feel?

Taking the step to crossdress from head to toe for the first time dates back, I believe, to my early twenties at university.

For fear of being discovered and ridiculed, I went out at night in the neighborhood near the family home, away from prying eyes. Luckily, my parents were not around during the week. They both worked in Paris and slept in the apartment above the shop they ran.

My sister was at a Parisian high school. So, I was alone, going back and forth, pretending to go home to be quiet (note: my university was in Paris).

Intoxicating and exhilarating discovery.

At that time, I didn’t wear makeup, I just wanted to explore the outside world wearing feminine outfits, more or less provocative, flirtatious, and sexy, always in rather deserted places.

I then felt a mixture of extreme excitement, joy, and fear, a kind of exhilarating cocktail. The same kind when you taste an incredible cocktail made of alcohol, various juices with intense and exquisite flavors. It was an intoxicating and exhilarating discovery.

Caught in tights

Much younger, I experienced something traumatic. I was then 7 or 8 years old, I think. We lived in an apartment with my parents, my little sister just born. At the time, my grandmother and aunt lived with us.

One morning, I put on flesh-colored tights and got under my bedspread. That’s when my aunt (16 years old at the time) suspected something odd, that I didn’t dare to get out of bed. She decided to pull off the bedspread and discovered the tights. Immediately, she took me in her arms and showed me to my mother in this state. It was very humiliating for me. Since that day, we never talked about it afterwards. At the same time, I think there was the excuse of an innocent age and discovery. I don’t remember being scolded or if so, it was repressed.

Paradoxically, if there is one person in my circle who would openly accept my crossdressing, it would be my aunt because we have forged a very strong bond. She is very open and I love my aunt despite this traumatic moment. Maybe the next step.

Do you have fears about society, family, etc.? Any apprehensions or discomfort?

Fears about society: yes, there are many. For me, the most important thing is other people's gaze as if we were freaks, a mental patient, a sexual pervert and so on.

Nowadays, I find it still too taboo in my opinion, even if in recent years people have started to accept it and it is entering mentalities.

We hear a lot in the media about transgender identity, testimonies, reports, even films dealing with these subjects. I just want to say: stop putting people in boxes, sticking labels, it only brings discrimination in my view.

I feel that as soon as we exceed the framework of societal norms, people must absolutely be categorized. I would tend to say: isn’t human diversity what produces its richness?

Regarding family.

There too it remains taboo. I only told my wife recently. Calmly and openly, I confessed my taste for crossdressing to her two months before meeting Jennifer.

Being very intuitive, she knew it somewhere deep inside herself. Indeed, how many times have I told her, albeit half-words (that I liked to wear female lingerie), even before our marriage. From there, it was a revelation.

Our relationship had been struggling for two years and I would even say it started from our daughter's birth. Our intimate relations became extremely rare if not nonexistent. I then contented myself with crossdressing to satisfy my sexual needs. Everything made sense in my wife’s eyes. Something was wrong, there was no more desire between us, something had crept in between her and me.

“Questionings”

I am currently in psycho-sexotherapy. I’m searching for myself, to find answers to my questions. Who am I? What do I want for myself, my future, my relationship, and our family life? This is a long process that will necessarily take time.

As for my parents, it’s not at all conceivable. They wouldn’t understand and accept it. I think my sister would accept it.

Regarding my circle of friends, I haven’t told anyone except my wife as mentioned earlier. I won’t tell my daughter either; I want to protect her from all this, she is still young. I’ll conclude simply: if you are a sincere and true friend, then you have to consider me as a human being who loves to crossdress.

What are the next steps in your feminization (if any coming), or desires you haven’t yet tested but would like to?

I am and will remain a man. I like being in my male skin. I feel at my place while keeping this pleasure of crossdressing.

As for feminization, thanks to Jennifer, I would like to practice more and improve my makeup skills. Makeup, of which Jennifer, who supposedly by the way, has a natural talent and gift, and shows a lot of professionalism.

And then, why not learn the proper posture, walk, and gestures as feminine as possible, to achieve flawless passing. To the point where people do not notice the difference (sorry, that’s my perfectionist side). Actually, only my voice might betray me, but that is fixable (LOL).

… in summary

I am a man who enjoys crossdressing. Maybe one day I would like to attend a crossdresser/transgender event to meet people in the same situation. I could share feelings, get out of isolation, find people with the same passion, and be able to laugh about everything and nothing.

Why did you call on me, and what did I bring you at this stage of your life, if I brought you anything?

Meeting Jennifer was a trigger, and I would even say two months before when I decided to summon my courage and take the big step to initiate feminization.

Since then, I feel good in my head, lighter, freed from a heavy burden, even if sometimes, I still think too much giving myself insomnia. My wife has also noticed it; she finds me much calmer and grounded since I confessed to her two months ago.

I called on Jennifer to see how far I was ready to accept the feminization process. I told myself I could “let go” as a woman. To my great surprise, I never imagined feeling good and being so comfortable in these feminine clothes and lingerie in front of someone. Jennifer has a lot to do with it because she knows how to inspire trust.

It feels good and is soothing.

With her warm welcome, big smile, generosity, kindness in every way, no criticism, no judgment, it feels good and is soothing. I had read many testimonials on her website, so my doubts and fears were completely lifted.

I already felt confident before arriving at her door.
If there are any of you in the same situation, there is no need to hesitate. Jennifer is a very beautiful person, tolerant with a big “T,” endowed with charm and kindness.

The first time I go out as a woman in broad daylight in a crowded place!

The sessions spent with her (a day and a half) went wonderfully, very quickly, even too quickly for my liking. They are full of new pleasant sensations. It comforts me and strengthens what I aspire to.

Between outfits, makeup, photo shoots, I feel like a star with all eyes on me. (touching up wig strands, suggestive and sexy poses while sucking in my stomach before the shot LOL). The afternoon outing to the restaurant, cinema, and shopping is a stressful ordeal for me.

Fortunately, Jennifer accompanies me and is there to reassure me. I want to go all the way. It’s the first time I go out as a woman in broad daylight in a crowded place!

I do feel and notice curious glances from passersby at the shopping mall. A 3-second look says a lot. I am not at all comfortable.

Crossdressing for pleasure.

Therefore, with this experience, I am sure I am not gender dysphoric. I wouldn’t be able to live as a woman in everyday life. I remain a man who simply enjoys crossdressing for pleasure.

It gave me confidence to now devote myself to my couple, to “win back” my wife. She, who has always been by my side, has recently accepted my crossdressing side. I am very grateful to her for her kindness. We committed during our wedding vows to take care of each other without forgetting oneself. Isn’t that love?

What anecdote can you share after this session? Or how did you feel after this session? What did you do right after our meeting?

It was at the hotel.

After the first day spent with Jennifer, I went out as a woman (makeup, wig, tights, dress, ankle boots). I entered my hotel room.

I waited very late into the night to go to reception after having called to make sure someone was there. Indeed, I wanted to settle the tourist tax and see how to manage the room key card.

The goal was to avoid the morning rush since I was leaving the hotel to join Jennifer for the last half day. I wasn’t comfortable enough yet. So, I went there around 11:30 p.m., and a gentleman appeared behind me from an office in another room. I asked him if he could take payment; he answered, “I don’t have a cash register, come back tomorrow morning” (oh no!).

A man’s voice dressed as a woman

He went back to his office. I called him again saying I wanted to be discreet and leave early tomorrow before sunrise. He immediately understood (me with a man’s voice dressed as a woman). The young gentleman then took the payment. For the key card, he told me I could just leave it in the room. Phew!

Throughout our brief exchange and transaction, he treated me as a human being speaking to another human being.

I wish people had this openness and largeness of mind. I wish it were in the customs, as if it were simply natural.

The final word by Jennifer

“Thank you, Jade!”

There are several “first times.” You probably guess, these moments are intense, full of emotion. It is not just a new experience; it is also a journey within yourself, sometimes a discovery of who you are. I am then, more than ever by your side, to support you during these moments that, I know, will mark you for a long time.