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I am a 40-year-old man, married and a dad of two girls aged 6 and 8, I am a Logistics Manager and I live in a small village in Oise.
I have always loved crossdressing, since my childhood, I had periods where I could crossdress more or less.
But I have always loved that feeling.
For the past two years, I have wanted to take care of my appearance and be more feminine when I crossdress.
It is a desire that is becoming more frequent; if I were alone, I would give in to my desires much more often, but there is family life and work.
I also appreciate the ease of my life as a man, where things are still significantly simpler.
So when I decide to crossdress, I like to do it fully and enjoy it to the fullest.
It’s a strange feeling but so soft and pleasant, I feel like I am freeing the woman buried inside me who wants to flourish.
Femininity offers so many pleasures: makeup, shoes, lingerie, clothes, accessories, perfume…
I take intense pleasure in getting ready, waxing, shaving, putting on makeup, wearing stockings, dressing in sexy clothes, making myself beautiful.
I have other passions, but crossdressing is without a doubt the only one that makes me vibrate so strongly.
It’s hard to explain but I think I am prettier and freer when I am a woman than I can be as a man.
The first time was on a ski trip, the teacher had talked about a costume party so I told my Mom I wanted to dress as a girl.
My male friends found it weird but my female classmates made me up and dressed me with such enthusiasm that I had a great time.
They made me experience such a pleasant, intoxicating sensation, I think that’s when I tasted femininity and loved its taste and scent.
Later, I limited myself to crossdressing in secret but without makeup.
A few years ago, I had to go on a business trip.
I had anticipated and put Milena’s things in my travel bag, and I dove into makeup.
I took photos of myself in my room at night.
I loved the moment and the result, and it really reignited my desire to crossdress more often.
So I did more photo sessions at home and I take great pleasure in them.
The gaze of others is a wall.
One day my wife discovered my photos on the computer, she was a bit shocked.
Her mind was shaken, she confused crossdressing with homosexuality, she called me “travelo,” she didn’t understand the point, she thought I was going to leave her for a man.
It was hard to hear.
I calmed the fire, but I thought it would get seriously complicated and that I would forever have to do this alone in secret and double down on discretion.
To open her mind, I booked a table at the Acqua e Farina restaurant which has a Sunday midday concept called Brunch and Queen.
We brunch with quality products and drag queens animate the atmosphere with dance and music, in a relaxed, family, lighthearted vibe.
We had a great time.
My daughters loved the Drag Queen Lolita Banana and struggled to believe she was actually a Mr.
So it allowed me to show this open-mindedness, this taste for crossdressing without vulgar caricature but doing things with elegance and care. Then, after long discussions, she ended up understanding a little better, and then tolerating this touch of madness, in moderation.
However, I have to gauge when it’s too much for her, I hold back and crossdress alone, on the few occasions that allow it, but when things relax then I allow myself an evening at home as Milena;
Even my girls ended up getting used to seeing me get ready in the bathroom and come back to the living room all set;
and often all three of them tell me I’m beautiful, especially my daughters!
It was even Milena who introduced them to makeup, and they share my makeup bag when they do makeup some weekends.
I enjoy it while they are little, they have no judgment yet, but sometimes I see them think about it and it’s then guilt-inducing to tell them to keep it secret and not to talk about it to anyone, even grandparents.
I recently talked about it with my 8-year-old daughter, she told me she thinks it’s good, so for now I savor it.
I fear that with adolescence it will change her perception, but I will see by then.
I live this passion like with chocolate, I am lucky to be able to practice it but I must not overdo it in front of my daughters and wife to not disturb the family balance.
My desires are to master makeup.
I am lucky to have great outfits, shoes, lingerie, etc., but makeup requires a mastery that I don’t have.
I also want to change things a little in my man’s life, although I remain a man, I am gradually changing style and wearing clothes a bit more mixed, sometimes subtly feminine but which blend with a manly look.
My everyday lingerie has been enriched with lace, flowers, I have refined underwear and my wife also likes it.
So, waxed and closely shaved, in elegant lingerie every day, I have a little of Milena in me, at least in my intimacy.
I came to you because I wanted to learn how to do makeup.
The fact that you were so open to do an afternoon especially for me with makeup lessons, outfit fittings and photos, it was really great and I felt very relaxed, so good, I didn’t see time pass.
Beyond the makeup lesson, it was a moment of liberation from something so locked inside me, and it was so pleasant.
I really thank you for giving me such a moment, you free so many barriers, with such lightness, I really felt like a woman like any other who just needs a little help to try to be a little prettier.
The fact that you share this moment by bringing all your mastery, your ideas, it’s really a super pleasant moment and you made me proud of myself, I have never been so beautiful.
The quality of your photos sublimates the moment and makes it engraved forever by showing me how much good preparation can illuminate Milena.
Coming back after the session, my wife and my daughters were blown away, their smiles and compliments were very nice to receive, like a reward for not denying my nature.
Removing my makeup and undressing was heartbreaking, so sad that Milena goes away, and the next day my heart was so heavy.
But I’m waiting for the next opportunity to feel Milena vibrate in my body again.
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