The touching story of Fiona

I had the pleasure of meeting a very beautiful person, with conversations as interesting as one another.
I was deeply touched by her story; I’ll let you discover it.

Can you introduce yourself? Age, gender, family situation, profession, city.

My name is Fiona, I am 55 years old, widowed, and I have a stepdaughter.
I work in the computer field and live in the Paris region.

I met my wife when I was 29, she was 11 years older, a very strong-willed woman with a grown-up daughter.
I immediately fell in love with both of them, and I raised my daughter like a mother hen while my wife pursued her career.
She was aware of my feminine side and found it amusing, as long as it stayed behind the bedroom door.

This year, Covid arrived and took my wife away.
My world collapsed, and we found ourselves alone with my 35-year-old daughter.

While the man I was crumbled, Fiona appeared, coming out of a closet.
She was the one who started to take charge of my life.
I put nail polish on my nails, took clothes found in the wardrobes, changed my hairstyle, and became (or rather became again, according to my daughter) Fiona.

After many conversations, my daughter started giving me advice on doing my nails, dressing, and styling my hair.

Today, with this tragedy, I have put everything aside to rebuild myself and live as Fiona.

How long have you wanted to feel more feminine?

Puberty was anything but smooth; far from it, I felt my body no longer belonged to me.
Moving away from boys, I got closer to girls.
Long hair was in fashion, which made integration easier and made me feel more in tune with what I was feeling.

In my adolescence, it was with my best friend that I discovered the world of women. We confided a lot in each other over time, and I told her how fascinated I was by the girls’ world. She took me to clothing stores and helped me discover lingerie boutiques. It was also with her that I discovered makeup and the importance of perfume. Our closeness was such that she sensed my sensitivity and feminine side long before I did; she treated me differently from others.
Then studies and life drifted us apart until we completely lost contact.

I left my parents’ home following a girl who had the same plan. We ended up living together without really being attracted, but more like housemates.
It suited her well, and me too.
My job forced me to leave for several days or weeks in a row; we mostly saw each other during vacations. She was not at all feminine, I was much more so, and I bought her lots of clothes and lingerie, like corsets or garter belts that I wore when I was alone. There were times when I needed to crossdress, to find myself, to feel womanly; it was like a pulse, a need. Outside of these periods, I felt safe with my secret as if I was wearing armor, a shell.

Is it a temporary or permanent desire?

It has become a permanent desire.
It is part of my life and allows me to continue existing.

My loved ones, those who share my daily life, have accepted Fiona and living with her.
This also means going out and having a social life as Fiona.
That was what mattered most to me.

Why this desire, what does it bring you?

Being Fiona allows me to be calm.
I feel good, soothed, because I am finally outside what I feel inside—I am in harmony with myself.
I want to spend my entire life like this, free, without constraints, full of new thoughts brought by this life that is starting.
It gives me time for myself, for others, and for the places I go to.

When did you decide to act, that is, to crossdress for the first time? For what occasion? What did you feel?

I have always loved dressing up, being someone else.
In my childhood, I was given cowboy and Zorro costumes, and children dressed up for family meals.
One Wednesday afternoon, around the age of ten, I put on one of my mother’s dresses, her shoes, and a wig.
Armed with a transparent umbrella, I paraded in the garden like a nymphet, holding my little dog in my arms.
I discovered a new pleasure: the sight of my body dressed in feminine clothes that suited me quite well, the feeling of fabric on my skin.
I felt beautiful and told myself that a girl’s life was truly wonderful. Later, I discovered women's lingerie, grew fond of it, then came high heels, which I practiced wearing.
It became a desire.

Do you have fears regarding society, your family, etc.? Any apprehensions, any embarrassment?

Human beings can accept many things as long as they are not concerned, and it can be disturbing to bring up feminization or crossdressing with people who lack open-mindedness—even if they are family members, close friends, or one’s family doctor.
I have a “unisex” camouflage outfit that allows me to share moments with them without having to cut ties.
This is only my perspective, but I prefer to hide rather than hurt.

I have the feeling that people in their forties are more kind towards men’s feminine sides.
I am always warmly welcomed in the temples of femininity such as lingerie boutiques, Sephora, etc.
And I often leave with excellent advice.

At 55 years old, I realize that the barriers are more often in my head than in people’s looks.
But I’m not naive either when I hear around me: "a man dressed as a woman," well, so what—I smile, I own it, and I continue my shopping.
Deep down, I know that Fiona is the only way for me to keep living and moving forward.

Everyone has their own life journey, full of trials, obstacles, and beautiful encounters.
Nothing is easy, nothing is given; every step is earned.

What are the next steps in your feminization (if any are coming), or desires you haven’t yet explored but would like to?

The terrible ordeal I went through forced me to question what I wanted in life and what made me happy and fulfilled.

After choosing to be Fiona permanently, I started by creating an identity (email address, mailing address) and put all my cards in Fiona’s name (except credit cards!).
I reduced my masculine clothes to only one outfit just in case and completely expanded my feminine wardrobe, the hardest part being size 45 shoes, but I found some.

A pair of fake breasts in a bra allows me to carry my femininity with me alongside a superb makeup, a skirt or dress for shopping or simply going out.
I feel more serene and enjoy the moments life offers me.
I wonder how far I would be willing to go to feel even more feminine; the question remains open, and I try to live in the present moment, carpe diem.
The Fiona who appeared is a young adult who wants to enjoy life. I have gotten closer to the people who really matter to me, but I haven’t yet considered life with another person…

Why did you turn to me, and what did I bring you during this stage of your life, if I brought you anything?

It was my daughter who spotted your site and encouraged me to contact you.
At first, I hesitated, thinking I didn’t have the basics of makeup.
I started watching tutorials online to learn the terms and the “tools.” After a few mishaps, I finally managed to gain enough knowledge to fully benefit from your expertise.

Jennifer, it was with a bit of apprehension that I pushed your door that morning.
I discovered a radiant person with a gaze full of kindness.

Everything about you breathes serenity; with great softness, you choose your words to build trust.

Once tamed, I let myself be guided by your advice, first on makeup and what was important to highlight about me.
Then on a whole set of gestures to make me more feminine and facilitate my passing.
I loved sharing this moment with the beautiful person you are, Jennifer.

Thank you for your kindness and your listening.

See you soon for another girls’ session.