Emma: journey and reflections on a gender transition

I have always wanted this blog to be a space for free expression, where the voices of my clients are not limited to just their moments in front of my brushes.
Each one has her story, her experiences, and her reflections, and it is important to me to offer them a place to share these.

Today, it is Emma who takes the floor.
Emma and I have known each other for several years.

You will discover her journey, her perspective, and also the way she embraces herself.
Her story is incredible.
I greatly admire her sincerity and the fact that she opens here a window onto her experience, allowing others to glimpse the field of possibilities.

It is not easy to speak about oneself with such transparency, and I thank her for that.

Perhaps you have already seen her on television, where she shared her perspective on trans identity with discretion and clarity.

Here, through her testimony, she reflects on the stages of her transition, the evolution of her relationships, the challenges she faced, and how she found her balance.

Your journey in a few words

Can you tell us what led you to start your transition? Was there a moment when you said to yourself: “Okay, it’s now, I’m going for it!”?

I remember perfectly the day I decided to begin my transition; it was a Saturday late afternoon.
I was coming back from a night out in Paris “as a woman” that went well, but at the moment I took off my makeup and returned to my official male appearance, it came out like a scream: I’m fed up with conforming to this official male status that suffocates me, I have the right to live as I feel, to follow my inner feelings: my life and my body belong to me!

Of course, this scream is the culmination of a very long reflection and a weariness of those moments of crossdressing which, over time, brought me more frustration than well-being.

Emma poses with natural elegance and calm strength. Her deep gaze, imbued with serenity and determination, immediately captures attention. Her long blonde hair frames her face, reflecting her softness and self-confidence

The view of your loved ones

How did your family and friends react when they discovered your decision to transition? Were you supported?

Coming out was, for me, the most difficult phase to live through.
When you announce this kind of change, it’s a real tsunami for family and friends.

My wife helped and supported me a lot.
I adapted my words to each person I spoke to and overall it went very well, much better than I had imagined.

Of course, there were rejections at the beginning but you have to make sure never to break the dialogue.
I did everything I could to reassure them, to downplay this change as much as possible.

Evolution of your social relationships

At the beginning of your transition, during and now (if it is finished), how have your friendships and social relationships evolved? Were there any surprises, good or bad? Has a natural sorting taken place around you?

My transition is now finished even if a deeper transformation continues to take place.
The beginning was very difficult: I was called selfish, told I was only doing what I wanted, that it was a betrayal, and so on!

So yes, of course, I lost contact particularly with a friend whom I had actually helped a lot and who was deeply hurt that I hadn’t told her the truth sooner…
When ego and lack of empathy get involved, it’s very complicated.

Life is also made up of these kinds of disappointments, but this is practically the only serious case I have had to live through.

I had many good surprises, especially from older people.
And then there are the silent ones, those who say nothing, who didn’t dare to confront me…

Your experience in the professional environment

How did your work environment receive your transition?

Regarding work, I have to explain that at the time of my transition, I was the boss of my company and a partial owner.
And since I was evolving in an environment that I felt was rather hostile to this kind of situation, I understood that, to protect my interests, it was better for me to leave.
I kept the real reasons for my departure secret, negotiated the sale of my shares as best I could, and left the company after 36 years at the dawn of 2020.

Self-affirmation and communication

Did you encounter difficulties talking about your transition to others? Are there any tips you can share that helped you?

Yes, I had difficulties talking about my transition to people who don’t know the subject, particularly my children and parents. I didn’t want to add unnecessary burden for them and, after all, you don’t have to tell everyone everything.

But fortunately, during the first two years of my transition, before the final shift, I met many trans people who listened to me and reassured me.

Ultimately, the only advice I could give on this subject is: don’t stay isolated and seek out people who live or have lived this kind of radical change.

Moments of solitude and resilience

Were there times when you felt alone or misunderstood? If yes, what helped you stay on course and regain strength?

Sometimes I had moments when I felt strong isolation, comments I found unfair, but ultimately this is the lot of all lives: we must face challenges in relative solitude.

Hormone therapy and its effects

If you underwent hormone therapy, how did you experience it? Which physical and emotional effects impacted you the most?

Hormone therapy is a bit like a magic potion; the day you start it is a landmark day.
Its effects happen over the long term and very gradually, except for emotions, especially in the first six months.
Welcome to the tissues scattered all over the house and often for very little!

The physical effects are not very fast, apart from weight gain!
But even if you don’t see yourself changing, the change is happening: softer skin, facial evolution, and of course the appearance of breasts.

Physical transformations and well-being

Which physical transformations (hormonal, surgical, or aesthetic) were important to you? How did these changes influence your well-being and your relationship with yourself?

Before the essential hormonal treatment, I prepared well in advance: total and permanent hair removal, hair transplants, and voice work with a speech therapist.

In 2020, I was able to benefit from an operation vital to me: vaginoplasty.
I could not conceive of being a woman with a male sex (this is only my personal way of envisioning this new life, I don’t impose it on anyone!)

And two years later I had a lower face lift to make it more feminine but this operation was not very invasive: no broken jaws or other various torments…
And I took advantage of this surgical moment to get a breast augmentation.

Beyond the gaze of others on me, what mattered most was to be in accord with myself, to feel good in my skin, to gain confidence to get out of impostor syndrome, and to no longer feel illegitimate as a woman.

Support and valuable resources

Are there books, groups, associations, or professionals that have been of precious help to you? If yes, which ones?

Associations, I did not feel the need or desire to turn to their support.
However, professionals working in trans identity, yes, I called on their expertise: psychotherapist, speech therapist, endocrinologist, and surgeons.

Additionally, especially early in my transition, I read many books, testimonies, or watched films and documentaries that helped me accept myself.

Your outlook on the future

How do you imagine the next steps of your journey after your transition? What are your aspirations for your well-being, your relationships, your projects?

Today I am finally realizing my last dream: to be an artistic photographer specializing in portraiture.

A message for those who are still hesitating

If you could say something to a person who is questioning their transition, what would it be? (A piece of advice, an inspiring phrase, a punchline, anything is welcome!)

Ask yourself one question only: “What would make you deeply, viscerally happy? Your life belongs to you, and so does your body, and if you decide to face the challenge that is a transition: be mentally strong, it shakes you, but the happiness of being yourself is not obtained without sacrifice.”

Thank you for reading me…

Jennifer

Every life journey is unique, and Emma’s is one among many.
Her testimony highlights the complexity of choices, the questioning, and the adjustments necessary to feel aligned with oneself.

What strikes me particularly about her is this ability to tell her story without artifice, with an honesty that commands respect. She does not seek to inspire, yet she does. She shares simply, without filter or exaggeration, and that is precisely what makes her testimony so powerful.

She reminds us of one essential thing: the importance of listening to ourselves and following the path that feels right.

Thank you, Emma.

Jennifer