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I was delighted to meet Hélène, whom I found very friendly, natural, and endearing.
I’m glad she agreed to share her story with all of you.
What a day…! In less than 12 hours, going out as a woman, beautifully made up and styled, shopping alone, and now sharing on a webpage with unknown curious eyes my deepest, most hidden, most secret secrets—secrets that only 2 people have known until now… under the simple word “travesti.”
So here I am, my name is Hélène or Héléna, born male, I’m 45 years old, although apparently I look younger.
I am a Parisian who loves the anonymity of her city.
I have a wife as well as a wonderful child whom I love dearly.
Regarding work, I will limit myself to saying “senior executive.”
It’s hard to say when this desire to feel like a girl and then a woman began, or rather this urge or drive… because it’s much stronger than a simple want.
I would say it all started in elementary school, but I’ll tell you more about that below.
May I say it’s a temporarily permanent desire?
Imagine a wave, a desire that rises and falls, sometimes with tides stronger than others, and sometimes nature rages.
At the peak of the wave, you have only one wish—to let yourself be carried away, to give in, to buy the clothes (especially shoes), to go out, to shout your femininity, to be watched, to be admired.
A moment alone and you hurry to become her, Miss Hide.
In the trough of the wave, doubt returns, you think it’s not normal to “do this,” you throw away the beautiful clothes you bought, you go back to a normal life… and then it comes back, it always comes back!
It’s like something living around you, in the air, the matter… inside you! everywhere!
I’ve tried to stop, so many times, I swear to you! But I never succeeded… tonight, it’s more like a tsunami, so do you think I want to stop, right now, at the very moment I’m writing to you… you can read my thoughts… Naughty!
This is the essential question, and yet it’s so difficult for me to answer.
Why keep doing this, for so many years, when with poorly put-together clothes, no decent makeup, and a wig bought in a sex shop, you look like a potato in front of your mirror…
It’s like an eruption, an earthquake…
the idea of being a woman! after that, it’s like stereoscopic vision, the brain creates the image.
Here it’s the same, our brain transforms a potato looking in a mirror into a magnificent young sexy girl, undressed, in tight shorts, wet t-shirt, heels.
And at the same time, it creates what prevents us from stopping—the infinite pleasure.
As I wrote, I think, although it’s not certain, it all started in elementary school at a school party where I was dressed as a clown in winter (no joke).
A winter day so cold that the neighbor lent me a pair of white wool tights from her daughter… what a sensation, what a moment of intense pleasure, putting on my beautiful neighbor’s tights, and the first erection.
Then, leaving class with an excuse to try on the girls’ coats still hanging on the outdoor coat racks, then growing up, wearing my sister’s clothes in my room, buying my own clothes, wearing lingerie under jeans, going out at night bundled under scarves, hats, coats…
I often went out at night, taking care to avoid all forms of life, even microbial.
How could I not?
My father wouldn’t understand, wouldn’t accept it, and neither would my family except my partner who accepts it… besides, I’m fine as a man and I don’t intend to undertake a transition… except maybe the voice but with a speech therapist it is controllable, adaptable, reversible.
Deep voice as a boy, high voice as a girl.
My life as a woman is more a fantasy, a pleasure, ephemeral.
But I will never become a woman.
I like being a man and sometimes a woman.
My fears are many: being seen by my son and him having the same doubts as me, being recognized by a neighbor (especially for my child), being attacked by idiots…
I want to master my makeup, strong from my first lesson today.
Work on my voice with a speech therapist…
Manage not to throw away my clothes, wigs, and makeup during the next trough… get quickly to the next wave, and above all raid Zalando… oh yes
Simply to learn how to do my makeup!
Now I’ve found something else, you, the makeup artist with your creams, brushes, and pencils, a confidante to whom I surprisingly said so simply things that were hidden deep inside me, a confidante, another vision of me as a woman, or for the first time in all this time I felt beautiful as a woman, desirable, sexy… a moment of intense warmth, a moment of complicity… a cocoon, a haven of peace where I could be Hélène.
Going out with you in the street, then daring to go out alone…
You made me happy, I haven’t smiled like that in so long… I’m dying to see you again to continue my little mess… My little story… see you soon
Jennifer.
I finally discover who I truly am
happy transvestite without transition
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When the feminine gently knocks… and then never leaves.
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She breaks 40 years of silence
A typical day with my clients
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Testimony
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From the shadows to self-affirmation (part 1)
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Feminizing, a source of fulfillment and balance
Metamorphosis and intimate fulfillment
The joys and fears of cross-dressing
Inspiring makeover sessions by Graziella
Autonomy and loyalty of Roxanne to Transbeauté
Rebecca’s bold quest for authenticity
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exploring her femininity
A dive into the elegance of Parisian chic bars
Claude, a fulfillment never known before
A testimony under X
The magic worked again!
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I would just like to be a pretty woman
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From anxiety... to dream
The desire to feel woman
Coming out as transgender at work
Makeup and transidentity
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The very beautiful day as a woman
Explore her femininity around the world
She is like an angel!
Free to be who she wants
Between cross-dressing and transgender identity
opens up emotionally about her feminization
Her testimony
Feminization at the institut Transbeauté
Her upcoming transition, a transformation of true beauty
A transgender person opens up to us
Evolution of a transgender person in Paris
The testimony in complete transparency
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The testimony of the charming Lisa
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Milena shares her story with us
The testimony of Marie-Laure, transgender
The testimony of Pascaline
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The moving testimony of the lovely Maggie
Camille’s amazing passing!
Lena, anonymous testimony
A desire for femininity in her life
Testimony from Chrystelle straight from Bretagne
A man sharing his experience of femininity
Testimony of Julia in full detail
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Anonymous testimony about her feminization
Testimony from July’s wife
A recent need for feminization
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