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Thanks to the warm world of Transbeauté, I always have beautiful encounters.
This time, I met Jérôme and Vanessa, a union of courage and self-discovery.
Jérôme, a guide, walks alongside those who, like Vanessa, explore their true identity.
After sharing Vanessa’s testimony, it was time to let Jérôme tell his story. His narrative is a dive into support full of heart and determination.
Come discover this human adventure through the eyes of Jérôme.
My interest in transgender people goes back more than ten years.
A family story helped me grasp the full complexity of this topic, especially the often obstructive role of a person’s entourage (family, friends, work) when they wish to change identity.
All too often, the family thinks first of themselves. They do not consider the needs of the person expressing the desire to transition.
This pushed me to get involved in an LGBT association.
I became an active member.
Over time, for various reasons, I left this association.
We had discussed ways to open the door of the association to those seeking their identity.
I suggested that instead of waiting passively, we should actively invite them to join us by going to meet them.
My journey began with exploring crossdressing.
I signed up on a dedicated site.
I learned to decode profiles in distress through their descriptions or the photos they shared.
This process became my main method to connect after long online exchanges.
It led to building trust, then exchanging emails, phone numbers, and sometimes meeting in person.
This process is always long.
Even when a meeting is set, last-minute cancellations remain a possibility – a phenomenon you surely know well… right?
Meeting Vanessa followed this model.
It required lots of dialogue and patience.
This allowed me to better understand her story, her desires, her fears, and the suffering related to being born in the “wrong body.”
Meeting Vanessa and supporting her was part of a very specific approach.
Constant dialogue and much patience were truly necessary to understand her story, her desires, her fears, and the suffering related to being born in a body that did not reflect her identity.
One phrase from Vanessa in particular triggered my commitment to help her: “It’s easy to be X since it’s a role I’ve played since I was very little.”
The main challenge was to start a conversation with her, given her initial categorical refusal of any male contact, expressed by her “No men, no men, etc...”
I like challenges. It pushed me to wonder what lay behind this closure.
Vanessa loves women and aspires to be seen and respected as a woman. Through cautious and attentive exchanges, I gradually learned to tame her, like a negotiator in a delicate situation.
Every word exchanged was weighed. That’s how I found the ones that brought us closer.
Vanessa confided having an impressive collection of high-heeled shoes, which she cherishes and wears every evening after work. This revealed the keys to overcoming her initial “No men.”
Answering this question is complex, because I do not live with her daily.
For Vanessa, her first session with Transbeauté was a real shock. The revelation of seeing herself made up by you marked a timeless pause.
However, after those 48 hours, returning to reality was difficult, despite my warnings.
Faced with significant professional problems, the scale of which I did not know, she sent me a message expressing the need to step back and rest.
I felt guilty for having led her to this experience. I was helpless about how to assist her from a distance.
Fortunately, intervention by the medical field was decisive for her during this trying period.
I remain convinced of her fragility, as are many others.
After several months of sporadic communication, she expressed the desire to see you again accompanied by me, thus showing the importance of our support in her journey.
What have you learned about yourself through your experience supporting Vanessa and others?
This experience strengthened my conviction that our often selfish society has a crying need for humanity and empathy. My different careers, especially my first one which opposed these values, led me to want to rebalance my life.
Vanessa, like many others, taught me that the suffering of being born in the “wrong body” is not fate but a detour.
And behind every person, there is a solitary struggle to face many challenges, before, during, and after a transition.
Fortunately, I notice that French society is gradually evolving toward better understanding and acceptance. However, there is still a long way to go.
To those in the position to support a loved one through their transition journey, I would say: patience and listening are essential.
Meeting empathetic professionals, like you Jennifer, who carefully work on their face, allows them to see themselves as they truly wish, transforming a dream into reality.
Regarding clothing, my advice is to aim to blend into everyday life without relying too much on femininity stereotypes.
Many feel the need to overdo it. It’s about finding a balance that truly reflects their identity.
Few are lucky enough to be supported by a partner during their transition. But it’s important to remember that, family, friends, or colleagues, the person remains the one you have always loved and appreciated.
You will probably see them with an even brighter smile because they will finally have the possibility to live authentically.
Mihai Eminescu beautifully summarized this thought: “Life is a lost good for the one who has not lived it as he would have wished.”
In short, I am an ordinary man who has lived an extraordinary life by participating in these unique and deeply human journeys.
In Jérôme’s vivid testimony, we discover the complexity and beauty of supporting people in transition and crossdressers, illustrating their courageous journey toward authenticity.
Jérôme, through his generosity and commitment, proves to be a precious ally, illuminating one of many paths toward self-acceptance.
This story echoes the commitment of Transbeauté, where, as Jennifer, I invest myself passionately to offer support and a safe space to the trans and crossdressed community.
Although my role includes a professional dimension, it is driven by deep empathy and a desire to bring positive change.
Sharing Jérôme’s journey highlights the importance of empathetic support, reflecting our dedication to encouraging a more inclusive and caring society for all.
And you, do you know an ally you would like to tell us about in the comments?
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